1 + 1 Ways to Cook Rice:
A Robot’s Guide to Starting a Civil War

A SF novel telling the story and the consequences of the War of Rice, a nonsense conflict that takes a pretty ugly turn.

On a planet named Glaucon, the love of two young robots—and a whole kingdom—is torn apart by the question of how to cook the perfect rice. The lovers are caught up in the animosity between their families that revolves around opposing culinary persuasions, and while the debate escalates into a religious opposition and political machinations lead to a holy war, the two robots fight new lovers, fend off accusations of murder, and bear the ennui of attending executions—only to meet again at the height of an impossible battle to forgive, and start again.

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  • Mr Saunders, the King
  • Mr Gordon, the “other King”
  • Mumha Washer
  • Nida Washer, Abh’s wife
  • Abh Washer, Mumha’s son
  • Cynd Washer, son of Abh and Nida. The hero
  • Aved Hhan, professor
  • Dul Hhan, Aved’s son
  • Mikke Beetemle, the Chancellor
  • Mrs Beetemle, Mikke’s wife
  • Braxon Beetemle, Mikke’s son
  • Jot Nifli, Lord Steward
  • Ms Gridhur, Head of Internal Security
  • Sinmara, goddess
  • Ingwyne, god
  • Pattero Frier
  • Ricco Frier, Pattero’s son
  • Feina Frier, Pattero’s foster daughter
  • Adda Frier, Feina’s daughter. The heroine
  • Mr Slick, CEO of Monopoil
  • Kantro Frier, Pattero’s brother
  • Milo Frier, Kantro’s son
  • Anada Frier, Milo’s sister
  • Ina, visionary
  • Lavrentiy Checka, Head of the Royal Secret Service
  • Thom Slick, Mr Slick’s son
  • Pelo Slick, Mr Slick’s brand new son
  • Exe, god
  • Luxophobe, god